Do you remember your first failures?

Do you remember your first time….baking cookies?

Can I serve these to my book group?

With gratitude to my child for trying to whip something up.

Sometimes our first time is just not so good. As winter approaches and this year of 2020 draws to a close (just kidding but not really!) some of us may be flagging and lagging.

The first pancake in the pan on a dark winter morning is probably a little burnt on the outside, whoops trying to grab the espresso pot, and slimy underdone on the inside.

The first backbend in a yoga class is a breathless creaky affair where suddenly gravity increases to something Newton couldn’t imagine. Straighten my arms? What?! I feel like I am made out of concrete and string.

The first mile run after a hot smoky summer is a plod, a panting effortful ridiculous thing, barely faster than walking. It’s an embarrassment, a shuffle.

My cellist friend tells me that the first piece played is a hot mess, all missed notes and out of sync. It’s ego-bruising, he tells me.

The first draft of your opus is a pile of pages that makes you want to cry because it was so much work and you are so far from being done.

And first dates? Oh my. Here’s a little list of the discomforts:

- being told I should watch more Lyndon Larouche videos on youtube.

- being told I am not vulnerable enough because I don’t like texting.

- he wore pajama pants.

- being told what women really want, how women really are, and what I really want.

- hearing a long and hauntingly detailed story about someone’s terrible relationship with their parents.

And yet I persist.

And so should you.

Whether it be writing, running, dating, creating or simply building the life of your desires….keep going. The first try can be a mess but everyone wants your pancakes.

Keep going! A perfect pancake will come!

First times can be hard and yet….sometimes the first time is stupendously good!

The first time I taught a class I was in love with teaching. The first time I read aloud at an open mic it felt like bliss. Some first dates have been tender, enchanting and so promising.

However, despite the fairy tales we know so well, despite the meet-cute romcom fantasy, I don’t believe that there is any scientific correlation between good and bad first times and the rest of your life.

Every time I do a backbend it is like the first pancake.

I fell in love with teaching but then I think I gave it too much.

Some wonderful first dates led to nothing at all and some mediocre first dates led to sweet connections.

Do not be discouraged, my dear ones! Keep going! We will eat the cookies, you will meet nice people, your book will be a book only you could create. Persist!